Disconnecting

There has been a lot going on in the news lately. Everything from the Snowden leaks about the NSA data gathering across the world to one of my favorite soccer players returning to play in the US (Clint Dempsey). All signs point to some serious issues with our nation and her people and yet...

All I can think about is what I'm going to do when I graduate (hopefully this Spring). A part of me wants to disconnect for a while: delete my Facebook and Twitter accounts, and move to the mountains (this Savannah heat is absolutely killing me). My sister-in-law in Ellijay, GA made us partial owners in their coffee shop. If they get that up and running, I could get paid to make coffee and read books all day. My husband and I even talked about selling everything, buying a sail boat, and living a nomadic life for a while. What about graduate school? What about school loans? What about a job? I just don't know.

After high school, I knew exactly where I was going and what I was going to do. It was pretty easy. I had grown up with parents that strongly believed in receiving some form of secondary education. From the time I was in preschool, I knew I would be getting at least a bachelor degree someday. So what do I do, now that that moment is so close? The economy suggests that it will take a miracle to get a career (not a job) right out of college, so should I jump into finding my master's degree? Will that help my future prospects of landing on the right career?

That was the plan. Until I burned out. Honestly, I'm not sure how much more of school I can take. Don't get me wrong-- I love learning. I just spent this whole summer studying the history of Savannah, Georgia, just so I could get my tour guide permit to tell strangers how awesome this city is.

I'm frustrated with the institution of it all. I've had few good teachers since starting the university path in 2010, which doesn't really encourage much faith that I'll find better ones at yet another school, pursuing yet another degree.  I've already started the extensive research that goes into finding the right master's program (or several, since you really shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket), but there are so many more schools I haven't looked at yet. It's exhausting. I'm exhausted.

My next concern is this: I just spent a whole summer outside driving horses, talking about history. Every day, I felt my skin crinkle as I experienced sun burn (for the first time in years), felt sweat drip from areas I didn't realize could sweat. I even enjoyed the weeks of rain--my callused fingers sliding on the thick plastic lines, barely keeping hold of the horses when they toss their heads as thunder cracked in the sky. Yelling over the roar of trollies, the honking of speeding cars; my voice seems permanently husky now. I came back to my video production job on Monday, and I realized...I hate being in a silent, cramped, dimly lit room. Maybe it is because I feel like I'm not learning while I'm there. I was engaged this summer, learning tour routes and the history of Savannah actively. I've got my history tour down so well that I'm going to start researching other tour routes so I don't get bored, giving the same tour over and over again. I hope that by the end of this year, I'll have downtown Savannah etched into my brain.

Yet I realize, I can't be a carriage driver forever. I work with people who have literally been doing this job for over a decade, and they are burned out. The money is good and the hours are convenient enough that it's hard for some of them to leave. So what about this job specifically appeals to me? Weirdly enough, this goes against my introverted self but...I think I love interacting with the people. Yes, it is tiring to put on a show for tourists up to six times a day, sometimes with a horse that is on the brink of a wild stallion-esq frenzy, but I love it. I've met people from all over the world, most of them with interesting things to say. I do have bad tours now and then--maybe they want to hear more jokes or more about the film industry in Savannah (like about Forrest Gump being filmed here), but I'm telling them about the city history because I think it's funnier. Maybe they want a ghost tour. My ghost tours are horrendous, I won't lie. But the majority of my day is spent talking to people who are either riveted by what I have to say, or will educate me because they are natives, finally exploring the tourist attractions of their city. And even though I seem to have grown up without the love of horses that most women seem genetically predisposed, I have come to love some of those buggers. They all have their own characters; the good and the bad.  My favorite horse, Murphy, dances on his way home. I didn't even know horses could do that.

I think it's safe to say that I've learned more this summer than I have in the last year and a half at school. This is the first job I've ever had that feels more like a trade, and I love it.

Fortunately, I just found out that my Creative Writing class, which is independent study, will be forcing me into finally writing something extensive. My professor wants either a full chapter of a novel (30-50 pages) or a full short story by the end of the semester. That will help with the portfolio I'll have to provide for a master's program, if I do go that route. Who knows, maybe I will even get it published. Now I just have to think up a plot. My synopsis is due next week.